A room of her own thoughts and tupperware

I had intended to finish the torchsong trilogy on the bus, but got involved in a conversation with some other non-profit workers from PCL, the Planning and Conservation League. I've chatted a bit with them before, and it was a pleasant ride. The girl invited me to come over and share a spot of lunch around noonish, which i just might take her up on.

Lunch today is a PB&J, a Carrot, two plums, plus a salad composed of: Romaine lettuce, parsley, tomatoe, fennel, shitake mushrooms & Hearts of palm (both canned, non-organic, unlike the rest, but oh well), tofu, celery, with some Braggs Amino Acids (like soy sauce), Olive oil, balsamic vinegar, Herbs de provence, and a bit of Kalen's lemon pepper. ::smacks lips:: I ate one of my plums already.

I'm looking forward to visiting with my folks. I feel like I get the most one-on-one conversation with paige right now (my co-worker), which is great, though there's still minor adjustments in talking. We often get into debates and there is still a bit ofdelving in the conversation, trying to understand where the other stands. She likes me, as i do her, and so that's not an issue in the slightest. I am just used to adjusting to people, fine-tuning interactions and what parts of myself are fully exposed, and which are restrained out of respect. I think this might be hard to believe, as i know I'm pretty out-there with all my friends, but learning other's patterns is fundamental for me. I learn how to support them and it helps me understand myself better. sometimes I feel like the world is a set of funhouse mirors. Your image takes on different shapes in others eyes, but by looking at the mirror and how it interacts with your form, you begin to see which are the curves that you posess (via enough correlations) and which are the curves that others put upon you (via enough contradictions).

I was also thinking the other day that we all spend a lot of time in our heads. I think I talk/interact with people in a spilling-my-insides sort of way, maybe 2.5-3 hours a day. So, sometimes i feel like I have a "room of my own" inside my head, with it's own comfy chair and a window and bird books, and I sit and think there and it is nice, but sometimes I get to feeling like I'm in a vaccuum. Is this just me, and my own nerousis, or do others get like this during the work week?

I look forward to seeing my mom. I look forward to being able to talk for an hour and a half as if there's no tomorow. My mom is still an imperfect listener, but she's pretty good at listening to me and seeing where i hesitate and drawing me out some. And my poor dad - I always talk his ear off. He is a fabulous listener. In fact, maybe he listens like me, thoug it's hard to say. I will go into intricate spirtual philosophies and social analyses for 50 minutes non-stop and he listens and responds and manages most of the time to follow me, although it is often weighty.

Don't get me wrong. I will be plenty happy to come back to Davis after a day and two evenings with my family. But it will also be very nice to be with them for awhile. It will also be interesting sleeping on their couch AND maybe seeing my bro. :)

Maybe this livejournal thing isn't so wise after all- look how long my entries are! This is why I *also* journal in books. If my thoughts were water and my journals tupperware, I would have rooms full of packed, water-filled plastic.